Maine-ly Friends and Family (#belikePaige)

 We said goodbye again to GRK Valley after nearly three weeks that passed much too quickly.  The meadow was a verdant green, with wildflowers just coming into bloom.  Tia and Sasha will not miss cutting the alder in the meadow-clearing project.   GRK = WORK, my aunt Heide always says, and it’s true, there’s a ton of maintenance, always.  But the silence and solitude, along with the closeness it provided us cousins, is well worth it.

 

Pristine beauty

Off to DC we flew, touching down in a little piece of Spain.  Friends Angeline and Montse, the core of our friend group in El Puerto, along with husbands Trev and Matt, had migrated to the DC area, along with Ebru and Greg Pekari.  Lynn and Brent Neubauer were just a few hours south, in Virginia Beach.  Montse threw a late-night dinner party, Spanish-style, complete with black paella and chorizo.  Suddenly I was home in Spain, in the middle of the Bethesda woods.

¡Que buenas amigas!

We kidnapped Narisa, Angeline and Trev’s youngest daughter, who, together with Tia and Sasha, comprise The Three Amigas.  We invited ourselves to Christina’s house in Queens, just outside of Manhattan.  Christina, whom I had met through Donna, Ethan’s mother, had graciously invited us to stay with her, despite not being there!  She arranged air mattresses in her charming brownstone, and her daughter Ashley set us up with a perfect day touring New York City.

Watch out, New York!

We took the ferry to Brooklyn, biked over the Brooklyn Bridge, and walked through the 9/11 memorial.  Then up through Soho to shop, stopping for a Ramenburger along the way.  We admired the Empire State Building from below and from afar, but couldn’t bring ourselves to cough up the $170 elevator ride to the top.  Then more biking to Times Square, which has been charmingly transformed from a busy honking thoroughfare to a pedestrian zone in the heart of the theater district.

Perfect for biking!

We ended up biking through Central Park, and then hitting the candy store at Dylan’s Candy Bar, where the kids went nuts:  Sasha $20 worth of candy, Narisa and Tia $26 each, and the biggest kid of all, Todd, with $36 of cotton candy, Jujubees, rock candy, and Pop Rocks.  We took the train home to Queens, tired but content and ready for bed after the sugar high.

Country and City

Then off to Maine to see Aunt Simone, who was visiting, along with Tante Traute and Tante Heide, my mom’s two sisters.  We had a whirlwind visit with them all.  My mid-eighties tantes were in full clean-up mode, helping reorganize Suzi’s cottage Little Bohemia, where they were staying, and getting the garden into ship-shape.  Their energy and can-do humor continue to inspire me. 

My heroes

We love Aunt Simone

Our family-and-friends whirlwind tour continued in Boston, where we spent a couple nights with Todd’s brother Mark and his family, always fun with the five blonde-haired, blue-eyed cousins!  It’s impressive to see Tia and Sasha with them, the seven kids so Nordic it hurts.  Our friends Thais and John came to dinner, another piece of Spain showing up on the East Coast. 

So nordic it hurts

And then we zipped back to Maine, heading to Bangor to pick up Lynn and Brent Neubauer.  Our reunion with them helped us deeply appreciate both friends and family.  Brent and Lynn lost their middle daughter, Paige, in a car accident on the last day of March.  The shock rippled out through their strong circles of friends; Paige had left deep impressions everywhere she lived, and her love of Spain at least matched, if not exceeded, my own deep embrace of the land and culture. 

One of Paige's many project to help others.  She is sorely missed.

Lynn and Brent drew support from so many.  It was a testimony both to Paige’s ability to reach out as well as evidence of how loved the Neubauer family is:  Paige’s memorial service was attended by hundreds of people, some coming all the way from Spain.  Montse and Matt, Angeline and Trev, and friends Ebru and Greg, along with Thais and John, and Annette Ortiz flying in from Madrid, enveloped the family in communal arms and helped arrange a beautiful service, both in Virginia Beach and at their lake house in North Carolina. 

Paige's memorial garden

Friends

We were fortunate to have Lynn and Brent in Maine with us.  They shared the details of their loss, and helped us all cope with such enormity.  As Lynn says, there are no words.  But there are actions, and I am proud and grateful to be part of a community that has given them so much support. 

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We shared their stories, and bought lobsters to crack on the big dining table overlooking the water.  We dug through the cobwebbed antiques barns that sit on Route 1, and took advantage of a perfect June day to explore Acadia National Park.  

Sunny day at Acadia National Park

Rock hopping

We relaxed on the porch eating crab rolls and playing cards.  Angeline and Trev joined us, and we sat around the campfire while Lynn and Brent showed us how to make hobo pies with the hobo-pie iron.  The kids were fascinated; Ado wanted hobo pies for breakfast the next day!

Lost Tides

Friends and family

We all miss Paige.  A death is painful, no matter the circumstances, and a child’s death jars us to the bone—it’s not supposed to happen that way, in these modern times.  Paige’s absence leaves a hollowness that will never be filled.  But the grace, openness and yes, even humor of Lynn and Brent’s approach to their loss is a model for us all.  It reminds us of the importance of family, and the gift of friendship.  And as well, the importance of sharing.  Lynn and Brent helped us by sharing how they were learning to cope with such tragedy, and we were honored to share this little slice of Maine beauty with them, and to take the time to be grateful for what we have, despite such loss.  Thank you, Lynn and Brent.  And thank you to our friends and their friends, for being there.

#belikePaige